10 Reasons for Personal Stress and Depression

Part 2

Last week I began a series regarding reasons for personal stress and depression. For the first five points, please refer back to that article. 

6. Stress management and the “Ball in a box syndrome” 

Many of us have experienced the loss of a loved one through death or alienation. This can change the contour of our whole being, often resulting in severe pain that can be continually triggered by a hurtful memory or by daily life routines and experiences. Severe pain may stay with us for the rest of our life; however, the nature of grieving is that it will eventually dissipate gradually as time elapses. Many psychologists use the metaphor of a bouncing ball in a box with a pain button to describe the above. This helps to explain “grief triggers” at random moments when painful emotions return at unexpected times when “the bouncing ball hits the pain button in the (metaphorical) box.”

For example, when a person’s grief is fresh, the ball takes up most of the box and continually hits the pain button repeatedly, which is why the pain is fairly constant. As time elapses, the ball gets smaller. Hence, the pain button gets hit less frequently.

7. Vulnerable Narcissism

This is when a person compensates for being psychologically neglected as a child by acting overly self-focused and narcissistic. Hence, they subconsciously act out in this manner to protect themselves from inadequate feelings. Many often go between feeling inferior and superior when comparing themselves to others, and they often feel offended or anxious when others do not give them special treatment. This up-and-down cycle of continually being offended based on unrealistic expectations and feelings of superiority often results in broken relationships and internal anger, leading to stress and depression.

8. Sedentary lifestyle

By sedentary, I am describing a person tending to spend much time seated, somewhat inactive. According to many experts, “Sedentary behavior increases feelings of nervousness, restlessness, hopelessness, or even tiredness. Adding regular exercise to your daily routine can have a positive impact on depression, anxiety, ADHD, and more.”

Furthermore, this lifestyle raises the risk of obesity and various diseases, including heart and coronary artery disease, heart attack, and high blood pressure, furthering the likelihood they will experience stress and depression. Negative sedentary habits include sitting for long periods in front of a television, various forms of entertainment, and excessive social media feeding. This contrasts with mentally active sedentary behavior patterns, such as reading, writing, and participating in group games (I.E., board games like scrabble, playing cards, and chess) and dialogical meetings that are not always associated with risk. 

9. Social media feeding 

Some people are so addicted to social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and more that they waste countless hours reading random posts and fake news every day. They constantly post things about their life merely to get likes and affirmation from others. While I am a fan of social media as an incredible resource for communicating with others, it can also distract us from doing purposeful things. 

“Experts have linked excessive social comparison behaviors to depression. I.E.Teens who spend their time envying others’ lives or mulling over their own shortcomings tend to have higher levels of depression.”

“More than half of social media users who are adversely affected by apps report depression (56%), dissatisfaction with life (52%), fear of missing out (52%), and body image issues (51%).” 

10. Not developing a robust spiritual life

The main thing that got me through many challenging seasons of my life over the past 45 years as a Christian is a robust prayer life, continually seeking the Lord, and feeding on His Word. Many people I speak to experiencing either burnout or continuous bouts of anxiety and depression because they do not consistently spend time in the word of God. The Bible clarifies that when we wait upon the Lord, God renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31). 

Jesus said if we abide in Him, we will bear much fruit (John 15:1-7). The book of Psalms describes a person who practices a lifestyle of meditating on the Scriptures like a tree planted by the streams of water that bear continual fruit and who prospers in whatever he does (Psalm 1:1-4). Furthermore, God commanded Joshua to meditate on the book of the Law day and night so that he would be courageous and prosperous (Joshua 1:8-9).

In conclusion, it is important for all believers to properly steward their time, their bodies, and their divine assignment. For this to happen, we need to be self-aware and understand the triggers that manifest the unresolved issues within our souls. Ultimately, only Jesus can heal the broken places of the human heart and deliver us from anxiety and depression. Let us continually look unto the Lord to sustain us and deliver us.

 As King David said several thousand years ago:

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me

and delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant,

and their faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him

and saved him out of all his troubles.” ( Psalm 34:4-6)

May the Lord deliver you as you look towards Him. Amen 

Please check out the latest book from Joseph Mattera here!

10 Reasons for Personal Stress and Depression

Part 1

Many people are entering a new year with anxiety because of general societal uncertainty, financial instability, relational instability, and challenges with their physical and emotional health. According to The American Institute of Stress: “About 33 percent of people report feeling extreme stress. 77 percent of people experience stress that affects their physical health. 73 percent of people have stress that impacts their mental health” (Sep 5, 2022). “Major depressive disorder affects approximately 17.3 million American adults, or about 7.1% of the U.S. population age 18 and older, in a given year (National Institute of Mental Health, “Major Depression,” 2017).

The following are ten primary reasons for the increase in personal stress and depression:

1. No boundaries for family and self

Every individual must create personal boundaries to protect their personal and family space. These boundaries should include carving out specific work hours, Sabbath keeping, and allotting personal private time with spouse and children. When set boundaries are not in place, many situations or people will invade your privacy, not granting you enough alone time to emotionally process important issues or spend adequate quality time with your family. These continual interruptions to one’s personal and family life can eventually cause stress and even depression.

2. Ambiguity regarding goals and purpose

When people have no clear sense of calling or purpose, they are open to doing anything with their time. Since a sense of purpose provides a sustainable anchor for the soul, a lack of purpose and goals cause ambiguity and incoherence in one’s cognitive self, causing a person to emotionally unravel. To compensate emotionally for this feeling of “lostness of soul,” many continually attempt to medicate themselves with drugs, porn, excessive entertainment, and so on, to obtain a fleeting sense of happiness.

3. Transference

Most people have unresolved issues with some significant people (their parents, siblings, coworkers, or former lovers and friends). The result of this is a spillover effect in which other people become objects of their pain and wrath to cope with their emotions continually boiling up. Some people describe this as transference. Transference describes a situation where one person’s feelings, desires, and expectations are redirected and applied to another person. This happens when a person views another person in their life, either as a parent figure, sibling, or another significant person who wounded them. They transfer these feelings regarding past hurts onto this person as a proxy. As a result, people transferring blame to others experience broken relationships since “hurt people, hurt people.” 

This inability to sustain deep relational connections can result in severe depression, loneliness, and isolation.

4. Activity overload 

Many people are constantly involved in one activity after another from morning till night without taking a reasonable break. They equate activity with productivity. However, sometimes less is more. Prolonged activity leaves less time to reflect and plan one’s day to objectively make the best decisions in life. Furthermore, many people don’t understand our divinely designed circadian rhythms on a 24-hour day. The human body is meant to shut down, rest and relax in the evening, so that it can be properly energized for the next day. 

Circadian rhythms are the natural cycle of physical, mental, and behavioral changes the body goes through in a 24-hour cycle. Circadian rhythms are mostly affected by light and darkness and are controlled by a small area in the middle of the brain. When we violate these divinely ordained circadian rhythms, it negatively impacts our emotions, causing undue stress, and depression. 

5. Poor physical health

God designed humans to functionally integrate with their spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:13). Hence, when a person violates this by neglecting one of these areas, it negatively impacts everything else, including their spiritual and emotional health. For example, if a person has poor nutritional habits, it can cause anxiety and depression and hurt one’s ability to think clearly and focus. However, when one sticks to a diet of nutrient-rich foods, one can set oneself up for fewer mood swings and improved overall quality of life. Studies have even found that clean diets consisting of whole, unprocessed foods can help with symptoms of depression and anxiety.

One reason is that adopting a diet of nutritionally dense food promotes the growth of “good” bacteria, which positively affects the production of dopamine and serotonin, which send positive messages to the brain. Conversely, eating a diet mostly of processed foods and soda negatively impacts the brain and causes inflammation and possibly even disease in the body. 

Please check out the latest book from Joseph Mattera here!

Everyone has been “down in the dumps” at a certain point in life. 

There have been points in my life when I have had to continually battle against discouragement, depression, and anxiety because of all the responsibilities and uncertainties that I deal with on a regular basis. I have also endured several seasons of severe emotional pain and trauma while still attempting to function at a high level, leading my family and various ministries. 

During the past 12 months, a phycologist friend told me that all the mental health professionals he knows are completely booked with appointments during the past 12 months because of the difficulties during COVID-19 and the political unrest. That being said, we need to know what to do when we are emotionally downcast, discouraged, or depressed.

The book of Psalms illustrates God’s ways amid all human emotions, including depression. 

Psalm 42 shows us eight things to do when we are depressed:

1.Continue to seek after God even during seasons of emotional pain (Psalm 42:1-2).

In the context of when the Psalmist wrote this, he was panting after God the same way a deer pants for streams of water. Even though he was downcast and oppressed by the enemy, the Psalmist knew that seeking after God was more important than any of his temporal challenges. He always prioritized that as the object of his spiritual disciplines. Since he lived a hungering lifestyle after God, rather than seeking God for His benefits, he was anchored to this immutable Creator who centered the Psalmist’s life when his emotions were unstable.

Centering our emotions on seeking God will eventually stabilize our life. 

2. Pour out your soul unto God (Psalm 42:4).

The Psalmist did not merely “say prayers,” He poured out his soul to God! He did not hold down his emotions with religion but was honest with God. The Psalmist was in touch with his feelings and let everything in his inner-most being gush out of his heart in the presence of God. If we do not face our real emotions and give them over to God, we are not giving His Spirit the space to heal us and rescue us from our depressed state. 

3. Do not isolate yourself. Stay in the family of God (Psalm 42:4).

The Psalmist understood the power of fellowshipping with other believers. The worst thing we can do when we are depressed is to isolate ourselves from the church and other Christians. The power of community is vital. Even the remembrance of it strengthened the Psalmist and helped get him out of his funk. “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

4. Get to the root of the problem by asking yourself the right questions (Psalm 42:5).

The Psalmist knew that a depressed emotional state is a sign of a more significant problem inside his heart. He did not ignore or deny these feelings. but asked himself the right questions to detect his soul’s real issues. Hence, being self-aware is a key to getting out of depression. Once we know what we are dealing with, we can apply God’s word to it so we can view our situation from His perspective instead of our own. 

5. Remember what God has already done for you in the past (Psalm 42:6).

It is important to journal so we can recount all the miracles, answers to prayer,  and providential guidance God has accomplished on your behalf. Remembering what God did for us in the past will help us have faith when faced with great challenges that cause emotional distress. The Bible tells us not to forget His benefits so we can bless the Lord (Psalm 103:2). The children of Israel rebelled against God because they forgot His works (Psalm 78:8-9). The Psalmist said that he would intentionally remember Him while his soul was downcast within him. Consequently, it’s important to keep a record and review all God has done for you when you are in the midst of fiery trials. As a faith builder, you can hold on to that, and it can pull you out of the shadows of mental gloom.  

6. Allow God to go deep within you (Psalm 42:7).

 Those who seek God are not interested in mere religion but want to go deep with Him. During the Psalmist’s severe emotional trial, he knew it was an opportunity for Him to touch the depths of his soul. This is why he said “deep calls unto deep.” Thus, every crisis of the soul is an opportunity for us to go to another level of spiritual formation that can redeem our emotional discouragement and depression.  

7. Ask God what He is working inside of you and what is happening (Psalm 42:9).

While in a state of being downcast, the Psalmist went to God with questions about his condition. Hence, while depression is a sign that something is wrong in our soul, it is also an opportunity for God to give us greater insight into His ways and His dealings with us. 

The Bible promises us that if we lack wisdom, we can ask God who gives to all without finding fault (James 1:5).

8. Put your ultimate trust in God for your future (Psalm 42:11).

Amid great emotional turmoil, the Psalmist gathered all of his internal strength and said that his hope was still in God, whom he will praise in his eventual victory. He had to go against his feelings to anchor his heart in the divine hope (Hebrews 6:19). Not only that, but he knew God was also the help of his countenance, which was his outlook in life framed by his oppressed mental state. Thus, going against his feelings by putting his trust in God, was the key to escaping the miry clay of depression (Psalm 40:2).

Purchase Joseph Mattera’s latest book, “The Jesus Principles”, available now on Amazon here.